Way to dodge the actual issue here. That's just... really constructive.
I am very, very aware that what I do is dangerous. Even given the general lifestyle of the peope we spend a lot of time with, what I do is risky. I am aware of this, and screw you very much for assuming I'm in it for kicks, or whatever you're thinking. I know when I first came back I was... well, yeah, let's go with "completely bugfuck nuts." Lazarus Pits do that to you. That's my explanation, not my excuse; I know I did some terrible shit when I was getting started, and yeah, I crossed a lot of lines all at once.
I am not the guy I was two years ago. Hell, I'm not even the guy I was six months ago.
I'm going to keep doing what I do until I am presented with a better option - one that I can see is better, not one that you hand me and tell me works just fine, because no, Clark, it doesn't. What I do isn't going around and murdering random people for shits and giggles. It's figuring out who needs to be taken out to make the streets a little safer, weighing the pros and cons, and going for it if I think it's the right choice. It's not a game, and it's not easy for me. The second it becomes either of those things is the second I check myself out of the game, because that's my line. I won't become one of them. And if you think I'm honestly in danger of that, well, you're not paying enough attention.
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ninetydegrees
no subject
2014-06-17 01:13 (UTC)I am very, very aware that what I do is dangerous. Even given the general lifestyle of the peope we spend a lot of time with, what I do is risky. I am aware of this, and screw you very much for assuming I'm in it for kicks, or whatever you're thinking. I know when I first came back I was... well, yeah, let's go with "completely bugfuck nuts." Lazarus Pits do that to you. That's my explanation, not my excuse; I know I did some terrible shit when I was getting started, and yeah, I crossed a lot of lines all at once.
I am not the guy I was two years ago. Hell, I'm not even the guy I was six months ago.
I'm going to keep doing what I do until I am presented with a better option - one that I can see is better, not one that you hand me and tell me works just fine, because no, Clark, it doesn't. What I do isn't going around and murdering random people for shits and giggles. It's figuring out who needs to be taken out to make the streets a little safer, weighing the pros and cons, and going for it if I think it's the right choice. It's not a game, and it's not easy for me. The second it becomes either of those things is the second I check myself out of the game, because that's my line. I won't become one of them. And if you think I'm honestly in danger of that, well, you're not paying enough attention.